Joy and Sorrow Can Coexist: A Thanksgiving Reflection

Every year around Thanksgiving, we start to see a lot of talk about gratitude, joy, and thankfulness. And while that’s beautiful and meaningful, I know that this season can also bring up a mix of emotions. Sometimes, alongside the gratitude, there’s grief. Alongside the joy, there’s sadness. Alongside the laughter, there’s a quiet ache for what used to be or what we wish could be different.

For a long time, I thought joy and sorrow couldn’t exist together. I thought that if I was sad or struggling, it meant I wasn’t being thankful enough. But over time, and through both personal and professional experience, I’ve learned that the opposite is true. Joy and sorrow can absolutely coexist. In fact, they often do.

The Emotional Reality

Our culture tends to treat joy and sadness as opposites, like one has to cancel out the other. But emotionally, that’s not how we’re designed. Our brains and bodies are capable of holding more than one feeling at a time. We can miss someone deeply and still find something to smile about. We can feel gratitude for the blessings we have and still long for what we’ve lost.

That’s part of being human and part of healing. When we give ourselves permission to feel both, we create space for wholeness. We stop fighting against our emotions and start integrating them.

So if this Thanksgiving season feels complicated for you, if it brings up grief, anxiety, or nostalgia, you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just being honest.

The Spiritual Perspective

Scripture doesn’t shy away from this tension. Jesus Himself experienced deep sorrow and still spoke of joy. He wept over Lazarus even though He knew resurrection was coming. He felt anguish in the garden but still endured the cross “for the joy set before Him.” That shows us something profound: joy isn’t about denying pain. It’s about finding presence and purpose in the middle of it.

Paul wrote about “being sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” (2 Corinthians 6:10). That phrase captures the heart of what it means to live faithfully and emotionally whole. Joy isn’t pretending everything’s fine. It’s remembering that even in the middle of what’s hard, there’s still light, there’s still hope, and there’s still a God who is good.

The Power of Being Honest with Others

One of the most healing things we can do in seasons like this is to be open with the people around us about how we’re really doing. It can be easy to hide behind a smile at a holiday gathering, to say “I’m fine” when we’re really not. But authenticity creates connection.

When we share honestly, it gives others permission to do the same. It reminds us that we don’t have to carry everything alone. Sometimes the simple act of saying, “This season feels heavy for me,” can open the door for comfort, empathy, and support. We were never meant to do life—or healing—in isolation.

You don’t have to share everything, but you can let trusted friends or family members into your reality. There is strength in vulnerability, and joy often grows in the soil of genuine connection.

The Emotional Shift

When we stop viewing sorrow as the opposite of joy, something shifts inside us. We stop trying to force ourselves to be positive and instead allow ourselves to be real.

And that authenticity is where deeper joy begins to grow. It’s quieter, gentler, and more grounded. It’s not the kind of joy that shouts or sparkles, but the kind that steadies us when life feels unsteady.

Joy in sorrow might look like sitting around the table this Thanksgiving and feeling both gratitude for the people present and grief for the ones who aren’t. It might be finding comfort in a small moment, a warm meal, a shared laugh, or a peaceful morning walk, and recognizing that even in pain, God still sprinkles grace throughout our days.

A Practice to Try

If you’re in a season where joy feels hard to access, try this gentle practice:

• Name both. Write down one thing that feels heavy and one thing that brings gratitude.

• Acknowledge both. You don’t have to fix or explain either emotion. Just hold them together.

• Invite God in. Pray a simple prayer of honesty: “God, thank You for what’s good. Please be near in what’s hard.”

• Share with someone. Let someone close to you know how you’re really feeling this week. It might surprise you how healing it feels to be seen and understood.

  
  

You may find that allowing both emotions to exist softens something inside you. The goal isn’t to force joy, it’s to notice it when it quietly appears.

Final Thoughts

This Thanksgiving, if your heart feels a little tender, know that you’re not alone. Gratitude doesn’t erase grief, and sorrow doesn’t cancel joy. They can live side by side, and that’s okay.

True joy isn’t the absence of sorrow. It’s the awareness of love that carries us through it.

May you find moments of both this week- joy that feels deep and steady, and grace that meets you right where you are.